The Mandate of Reconciliation (Assisted Peacemaking – Mediation Pt. 3)

Sources:

1. Alfred Poirier; The Peacemaking Pastor
2. Ken Sande; The Peacemaker; A Biblical Guide to Conflict Resolution

• Wrong Responses to Conflict
• • Peace-faking (flight)
  • Peace-breaking (fight)
• Right Response to Conflict – “Peacemaking”
• • Personal Peacemaking
  • Assisted Peacemaking

1. Personal Peacemaking

• Forbearance – “Overlooking an Offense”
• Discussion – Reconciliation
• Negotiation – Material aspect of reconciliation

Questions:

• What happens when the personal peacemaking breaks down?
• What happens when the parties cannot settle by themselves their differences?
• What if they cannot come to agreement on their own?

2. Assisted Peacemaking

• Mediation
• Arbitration
• Accountability (Church Discipline)

Outline:

I. The Theology of Mediation

1. Christ; our only Mediator
2. Paul; as Ambassador of Christ’s Mediation
3. The Church; Commanded to Mediate

II. The Specifics of Mediation

III. The Common Problems in Mediation

A. Christ: our only Mediator

• Point: The story of redemption is a story of “mediated”.
• The very Gospel that we hold is all about “mediated peacemaking”

B. Paul: as Ambassador of Christ’s Mediation

• Paul’s inclusion of “peace-reconciliation” as greeting in all of his letters… not just an epistolary filler… e.g. “My Dearest”… “My Beloved”
• The greetings of peace is a foundational theme in all of his letters.
• • Primarily - encapsulates the Gospel of Peace with God through Christ’s mediating work (see 2Cor. 5:20-21)
  • Secondarily - it functions as the state to which all Church of God should be striving with one another in the midst of conflict.

Notice: Paul as committed mediator ends his letters the same way. He blessed the churches with “God’s peace” again! (see Rom. 15:33; 16:20; Phil. 4:7–9)

C. The Church; Called to Mediate

1st – Text: Matt. 18:15-20

Point: Assumes the principle of mediation… i.e. – counseling v. 15 ‘if he listens’ 16 & 17 ‘does not listen’

2nd – Text: 1Cor. 6:1-8 (should not be left to the government)

Paul’s Foundational Reason:

• Sufficiency of Scriptures (biblical counsel)
• Biblical Ecclesiology (elders & pastors)

A PROVISO: only for Civil cases not for Criminal cases

The SPECIFICS of Mediation

Preliminary: Even as redeemed people we are still prone to faulty judgment and ungodly treatment of brothers. This is exacerbated in the midst of conflict.

• People in conflict usually lose objectivity and becomes selfishly vindictive or self-preserving.
• Notice: This is often where personal peacemaking breaks down and where the necessary grace of mediation comes in.
• Remember: This is necessary because unresolved conflict is not simply a disagreement between individuals, rather, it is a breach in the household of God. Meaning, conflicts are not merely relational problems, but are covenantal breaches in the body of Christ.
• Rooted: Water Baptism as sign and seal of our Covenantal Union into Christ’s Body by the HS – see Eph. 4:2-6 “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (doctrinal – v. 4-6 & relational – v. 2)
• Therefore, unresolved-neglected conflicts do three things:
• • It dishonors Christ
  • It damages the witness of the church
  • It fractures covenant unity & gospel fellowship

a.) Definition – What is Mediation?

• Mediation is when a third party assists brethren in conflict through godly wisdom & loving counsel to reach an agreement in order to ‘resolve’ conflict and ‘restore’ relationship.

I. IDENTITY

b.) Qualification – Who can Mediate?

• The mediators are to be Godly Men in the Church, namely, the Church’s office bearers (1Tim. 3:1-7). These men command the respect of the conflicting parties and possess the wisdom for the task to effectively mediate.
• Secondary Mediators: These are other godly men or women agreed upon by the disputing parties and with them their essential expertise related to the nature conflict. Agreement from both conflicting parties is needed for qualification of those who will, in special capacity, function as secondary mediators.

Caveat: Mediators do not decide the outcome of the conflict and they do not stand as judges in the mediation.

• They function as counselors and godly advisers to their brothers in dispute. Mediation highly encourages the disputing parties to decide the matters of their conflict.
• But at the same time, they must offer biblical wisdom and if needed loving rebuke or corrections against sinful motives, intent, or actions.

[Alfred Poirier] - “Mediation is when parties in conflict call upon a third party to assist them in reaching a mutually agreed upon settlement of their dispute. The key word here is assist. Unlike a panel of arbitrators or a church court, mediators do not decide for the disputants what their agreement will be. This decision is left to the disputants to mutually determine. However, Christian mediators do help shape the final agreement by giving wise biblical counsel.”

The Fundamental Reason: is because… All Christian mediation reflects Christ’s mediatorial work to his people… Christ is:

• Prophet (speaks God’s truths)
• Priest (reconciles brothers to God and one another)
• King (establishes God’s peace & unity in his Kingdom)

Lessons:

1. Competent mediators must possess biblical wisdom, spiritual maturity, also wisdom in applying the gospel to God’s people.

• Note: Training in biblical counseling will go a long way

2. Competent mediators must have genuine love and exercise faithful oversight for effective mediation.

• see Acts 20:28 “Keep careful watch for all the flock”… a command which calls for continual attention for all members of the covenant community.

II. GOAL

1. Bring People to Talk

• they encourage reluctant parties to participate.
• similar to inviting someone to marital or pastoral counseling.

2. Restore Objectivity

• they provide impartial counsel and biblical corrections
• therefore, helping both sides see truth more clearly and be reminded of the very goal of the mediation process.
• (Christ’s honor, Church’s witness, Brother’s Good, Their Christ-likeness)

3. Guide Communication

• by clarifying misunderstandings
• by organizing the talk
• prevent emotional escalation
• help God’s people live in Holiness: James 1:19-20

[Alfred Porier] - “The primary benefit of mediation for both pastors and the parties involved is that they get to see afresh the wisdom and power of the gospel. Their sin, God’s holiness, Christ’s atonement, the church as family, and their own participation in the process as peacemakers renews their faith in the reality and relevance of the gospel. They see Christ’s lordship as extending beyond the spiritual to the seemingly “unspiritual” and mundane affairs of their lives. God appears larger now. He is Lord over all of our life—including our disputes, our business, our financial dealings, the contracts we sign, and the promises we make. Mediation by the church makes us see all the more that Christ the Lord is our Mediator, our Wonderful Counselor, and our Prince of Peace.”

A couple of Reminders: The Common Problems in Mediation

• Process – unclear for both parties (duration, expectations)
• Persons – may feel unfairly treated (must be expected) may feel unprotected (privacy & gossip)
• Product – clear settlement (i.e. written – see 1689 BCF Ch.23.2)